The Never Chronicles
by JazzyCat
Summary: These things never happened and some never will. Ranging in rating, genre, and pairings, if any. Suggestions welcome. Chapter 3: Mai and Ayako never played a prank on sleeping Naru.
1. Chapter 1

**:: Chapter 1 ::**

She slid further into her seat, staring blankly out the window. Somehow, school life seemed to boring after the entire ghost ordeal. Mai was still glad to be rid of that horrible narcissist, though. However handsome he may be, it could never redeem him for that attitude.

Letting her head fall gently onto the desk, she watched from the corner of her eye as her two friends—Keiko and Michiru—approached her. They asked if she was alright, what had happened, and after assuring them that she was fine, just a little tired, they immediately jumped to questions about the past few days; specifically Naru.

She answered as shortly as she could, secretly wishing that they would just shut up, when she was saved by the bell. Or rather, the loudspeaker.

_Mai Taniyama, you have a phone call. Please report to the office immediately._

Apologizing, though not at all sorry, the girl jumped from her seat and ran away from her friends to the office. She explained who she was to the secretary, and she was patched through to the correct phone line.

"Hello?"

_"Mai."_

There was only one person that voice could belong to, and Mai's heart instantly dropped. She didn't know who she'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't Kazuya Shibuya.

"Naru? To what do I owe the pleasure?" As strong as her dislike for the man, she could at least be polite.

_"Seeing as you were so much help I thought I might as well offer you a job. It's just office work, mostly, but it would be good experience for the future."_ Mai was amazed at how condescending he could be; he was asking her to work for him and still made it sound like he was doing her a favor.

If she had been considering it before, she wasn't anymore.

"No, thank you." She answered shortly, and before Naru could answer, she decided to elaborate. "You see, Naru, I could barely stand you for the week that I've known you. Your arrogance is astounding. I'm amazed that one person can think so highly of themselves. In all honestly, it's pretty disgusting. So, to answer you question. No, I would not like to work for you. Or with you. Or around you. There are few things I like less; but I know this much; I would rather die than subject myself to that."

Feeling very accomplished—like she'd gotten a weight off her chest---Mai hung slammed the receiver down, hanging up on Naru the Narcissist (ridding herself of him forever) and earning herself a glare from the secretary. Ignoring that, she skipped off happily, wiping her hands of Shibuya Psychic Research and returning to the boring but functional life of Mai Taniyama.

* * *

**A/N: Not all of them will be like this: some will be funny or sad or emotional. Please don't disregard this. And give honest feedback. Naru had such a tiny role in this XD.**


	2. Chapter 2

**:: Chapter 2 ::**

"Mai, tea!"

This seemed to be the majority of her work in the office; Naru kept his papers so organized out of habit that she rarely needed to file for more than a few minutes. Lin's work was mostly on the computer, backed up onto multiple hard drives (just in case) and so all thirty-six of her weekly working hours were spent cleaning or making tea. She had come to accept it.

Naru demanded half a dozen cups throughout the day, so she had become very good at it very quickly; and she'd been decent to begin with. The young man's tastes were particular, and it took much experimentation to create a successful brew. However, his expectant attitude was beginning to grate on her nerves.

But how to get her message across? When Mai was direct about anything, Naru usually made a point of either mocking her (subtly) or addressing her with sarcasm and doing the complete opposite of what she asked of him. No, this time the consequences would have to affect him. And she knew just how to do it.

The next time her narcissistic employer called out from behind the door of his office, Mai set about making tea: boil the water in the kettle, put the leaves in the pot, pour the water in the pot, and steep. But this time around, she decided to vary her timing a bit. She overboiled the water, so that it would taste of metal, and she only let the leaves steep for a few minutes before straining the concoction into a mug. Placing it nicely on a tray, Mai put on her biggest smile and walked the beverage in to her boss.

Needless to say, he was neither pleased nor amused.

"Make it again," he ordered, upset that her skill in making tea had dropped so considerably.

"What's the magic word?" Mai asked in a sing-song voice. Naru's ice blue eyes pierced her.

"Now."

The small girl walked off, indignant, and repeated her prank, this time making it too strong. Again he demanded another cup. The next time she made it too cold, and the time after, she "forgot" to strain the leaves. Naru's frustration grew with each cup, until he finally confronted her.

"Is there something you're trying to say, Mai?" he nearly growled; being deprived of his caffeine was not making him a happy boy.

"I'm not trying to say anything, Naru," Mai said dismissively. "Nothing at all. _Please_ call me if you need me; I'll be in the other room." Mai emphasized the 'please' in such a way that anyone with Naru's IQ would be incapable of misunderstanding.

"Mai."

"Yes, Naru?"

"Tea. Please."

Her smile was brilliant, her mood instantly brighter. "Sure thing," she replied, and when she brought him his usual cup of orange spiced black tea—an English recipe he seemed to be fond of—he noted that it was practically perfect in every way.

* * *

**A/N: Stick it to the man, Mai! Naru can be as high and mighty as he wants, but it's always bothered me that he's never polite when asking something of her. :( Making him suffer seems appropriate.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**:: Chapter 3 ::**

It was a rare sight to see, Naru asleep. Being as overworked as he was, Ayako and Mai were beginning to wonder when he would drop—they were expecting it. And, in the event that he _did_ fall asleep, the duo had planned a little 'bonding time'.

It was mid-morning that Sunday when Mai arrived, a little late and expecting to be scolded. As she opened the door, she peered around; waiting for Naru to jump down her throat about being late, but there was only silence. The girl crept in, and headed straight to the kitchenette, assuming her boss would want tea.

She was very surprised, coming out of the kitchen and into the living area, to see the boy sleeping on the couch.

Mai noticed that even the way he slept was neat and tidy; he didn't sprawl across the couch or throw his legs over the back. His arms weren't hanging from the sides, and he—unfortunately—didn't have bedhead. He laid flat on his back, his head propped up by his coat, folded a few times into a makeshift pillow. His fingers were laced together and his hands rested gently on his abdomen.

When the kettle whistled, Mai tore her gaze from the object of her affections long enough to dash over to the stove and shut off the burner, in the process knocking over a stack of metal pots waiting to be put away. Figuring she'd already woken him, she didn't bother to mute herself, going about her actions as normal.

She vaguely registered the door clicking open and closed, and prepared and extra mug of tea for what she believed to be a client.

"I'll be right there," she called, just loudly enough to be heard. Placing both mugs on a serving tray, the girl trotted into the living room, finding herself face to face with Ayako.

"Oh, it's you," Mai said, happily shrugging off her business smile.

"Oh, that's nice."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know," the woman laughed. She shifted her grip on her purse and gestured with a nod of her head toward the sleeping boy. "How long has he been like that?"

"No way! He's still sleeping! He's been there since I got here, but I made enough noise to wake a deaf man." Mai scrunched her brow. "Are we sure he's not dead?"

Ayako shook her head. "Look at his chest; it's moving, so he's breathing. But his eyes are moving, so he's in R.E.M. He won't wake for a while." Her gaze met Mai's and they shared a mischievous Cheshire cat grin.

"Did you bring the goods?" Mai asked lightly, setting the forgotten tea down on the coffee table. Her red-headed companion nodded nonchalantly and pulled a smaller bag from her purse, setting the latter on the chaise beside her.

"Don't I always?" Her manicured hand rifled through the bag's contents, extracting several brightly colored tubes and offering them to Mai. "I only hope I have a color that suits his complexion.

Laughing loudly and mercilessly, the two crouched over the slumbering boy and set about their evil deed.

-----

An hour later Naru was roused by the smell of tea and the unmistakable sounds of the door opening. Familiar voices floated around the room in hushed tones, and he recognized his 'colleagues' Takigawa, Ayako, and Yasuhara.

Unhappily, Naru opened his eyes, wondering why they felt heavy. Instantaneously the whispers to his left ceased. The boy sat up, straightening his clothes before turned toward the 'guests.'

Upon making eye contact, everyone else looked away, choking back giggles and snorts of laughter.

"Is something funny?" The he asked coolly, folding his arms across his chest.

"Naru…" Bou-san began. "You make a very pretty girl."

* * *

**A/N: In all probability, he would have woken up while they gave him his 'makeover' but for the sake of this story, let's pretend he's a heavy sleeper. ;)  
**


End file.
